Letters to Max - Your momma and my momma

Dear Max,

We made it to the weekend, and you’re still alive! I thought I was improving when it came to sleeping but as I’m writing this it’s obvious I still don’t have great control over it. Weighing on my mind though is the relationship between your momma and my momma. My momma just rubs your momma the wrong way. Not always, but when the dosage gets high, it really irks her.

Some of it unfortunately has to do with me. There are flaws that exist in my character that are potentially a direct result of how I was brought up by my Mum. This is what we do, this is how I’ve done it, this is what I was thought, were always substitutes for thinking and reasoning. Her micromanaging and constant prioritisation of my father over others is something I’ve come to expect and accept, but I certainly can’t say the same for your momma.

We left you in your room only to realise the temperature had soared to uncomfortable levels in there later, and only after googling did we realise that the comfortable temperature for sleeping ought to be 24-26 degrees for newborns. Your momma blames my momma for misleading her instincts about heat and what temperatures are acceptable. In hindsight, this has less to do with my momma directly than your momma’s annoyance with my momma’s not-so-well-thought-through advice, particularly around cold/hot foods. It’s related to her micromanaging, particularly around a video call we had where she was trying to direct your momma to clean you up because you had refluxed some milk. Totally rubbed your momma the wrong way. Add that to the fact that she’s coming tomorrow. I hadn’t realised how wrong your momma had been rubbed till we talked about how annoyed she was at the temperature in the room incident.

I just have an instinctual aversion to the clusterfuck nature of the problem. Even now as I’m writing this I am overwhelmed by a wave of anxiety. But I know inaction is not the solution to the problem. And if I were to ask what kind of outcome I would like for you, the answer is clear. A confident young man who isn’t afraid of his feelings.