Cherish the first six weeks

Dear Max,

I was just reading the previous letter and realised we’re now on to yet another book - cherish the first six weeks. As I’m writing this, I’ve just realised we’ve not actually looked so much into whether it works or not, just that it sounds really appealing. Off to check goodreads.

Before I run off to another tangent though, I’ll stick a bookmark so I remember where I was when I come back. My head is exploding and I’m back into this negative death spiral of oh my gosh I don’t think I can do this anymore, I don’t think I can take much more of this, how am I supposed to survive the next few months when I don’t even think I can survive the next few days. There’s just a new huge wave of anxiety as we embark on yet another new routine, with less sleep just as we had our previous routine in place.

Again, can I deal with him? Probably. Will I lose my shit if he goes bananas without reason? Probably not. But I will definitely feel drained. I think that’s a good way of putting it. It’s like work you cannot run away from, a party you cannot excuse yourself from. And it just leaves me drained and wondering why I went down this path. It doesn’t help to find articles about parents who regret having children turning up in my newsfeed. And yet this is going to be my life, screaming, sleep deprived and mind numbing for the next few months, if not years. And my parents are coming over tomorrow as well.

Ok, let’s check out what’s going on with this book. So it’s somewhat of a hit and miss, the parents who have had success with it rave about it, but there’s just as many who say it’s pretty unrealistic to expect the schedule to be followed. Hard to say. I guess every baby is different and only time will tell if Max falls under the “easy to sleep through the night and avoid sleep regression” pattern. And just a few weeks ago the fourth trimester was the most amazing thing. We’re going to find out soon enough. Sometimes (well actually most times, with this negative death spiral loop) it feels like it’s either going to be the kiddo or me. I do hope both of us survive intact though, physically and emotionally. Something tells me I’m going to be on the losing end.